Rose Colored Glasses

I have a few ideas for posts that I’ve planned out for this blog, just various concepts that came to mind that I figured might be interesting to talk about. Today, however, I have no intention of writing about any of them. For whatever reason, I was drawn to the blank page. This is my blog after all, and I’m under no obligation to cater to the desires of me from a week ago. Those posts will come in time. For now, why not muse? That’s what writing’s all about in the end.

Lately, I have been happy.

A few weeks ago in philosophy we were asked to be a gadfly, and pester our friends deeply about what happiness means to them. This particular post isn’t meant to be philosophical (sighs of relief all around, I’m sure), but more reflective of my own happiness. What does happiness mean to me? Sure, I asked them, but when have I ever asked myself?

Those of you reading who may know me (let’s face it– all of you know me, at least to an extent) are possibly aware that I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Needless to say, sometimes even against all logic, happiness, or even contentment is difficult to find. Yet lately, I’ve been happy. This could be due to a number of things. I quit my job just over a month ago, which had been causing me immense stress for quite some time now. I enrolled in college, which frankly, I was starting to feel like would never happen. I’ve been in good company, doing things I enjoy, and I’ve found someone who certainly helps make my life feel a little brighter, even when it’s dark.

I also started on some new medication– that’s definitely also a factor.

Even just opening this blog has provided me with something that enriches my life. As I type this post, knowing I’m free to write essentially whatever I want to share with the world, I am content. Whether or not anyone reads it, I’ll know forever that it is mine, and that I put my heart and soul into every little seemingly useless post I write. Meaning, (a whole other philosophical concept I’ll tackle eventually) is relative. And sometimes, even the most mundane of things can be the most rewarding.

When all is said and done, the worst moments of your life don’t have to define you. Human nature makes it difficult to focus on the bright side, especially those of us who may be more cynical or pessimistic. I, for one, know that I can over-dramatize any strife like a professional. Occasionally, in my battle with depression, something as small as a stubbed toe or a spilled drink can tip me over the edge if I’m already in a bad mood. To cherish happiness when you find it is a gift, but it’s not always easy. We are all destined to live lives woven with black and gold thread. It’s up to us, no matter how helpless we may feel, to look back on the gold.

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