I Hope to See a Sunrise

It’s not very often that I wake up early enough to see the sunrise. Once in a blue moon I stay up late enough that the dawn greets me, but that is an equally rare occurrence. I have always loved the atmosphere of mornings, though my body is not so keen on getting itself out of bed. I wish I was more of a “morning person” because I love watching the sunrise. There is something so peaceful and beautiful about the rising sun–– the beginning of a new day, as literally or figuratively as you need it to be.

Sunsets are beautiful, but they’re not quite as mesmerizing to me. Perhaps its simply the infrequency at which I actually see sunrises compared to sunsets, but even symbolically, sunset leaves a lot to be desired. After dawn comes the day, but after dusk comes the cold dark night. In winter especially, I feel like sunsets become more and more dismal and dreary than worthy of my admiration.

The sun has set on a large part of my life, recently. As this is a public blog, I’m not about to go into detail about exactly what happened, but it’s taken its toll on me emotionally. What felt like a long summer day has somehow managed to melt into a cold winter night, and when everything is so dark, it is hard to remember how much I love the winter. The sun has set on something that had become a part of me; I am no longer the person I once was. It is nighttime now, but all I can do is be patient and strong until the next dawn comes.

I’d like to see the sunrise again someday soon. For all I know, it could be tomorrow. For all I know, it won’t be for weeks or even months. I’ve always been sensitive to the power of the sun–– I burn easily, I squint in bright light, I sneeze on sunny days. I was only starting to truly get used to life in the sunlight before it left me, and now that the sun is setting on an era of my life I was happy in… I wonder how long it will take before I remember how powerful I can be under the moonlight.

I know that I am strong, and that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. I simply wasn’t prepared to fall so quickly into darkness after I’d been basking in the sun for so long. It shined its light on so many things, so now that it’s gone, I miss it in every moment. That said, at night I cannot burn. I am not flame retardant. The sun simply became to hot for me to handle… and I was burned. At night I cannot burn.

No matter what happens, the sun will set at dusk. Every era, every period in one’s life will come to an end. Sometimes this may be hard and painful, but at the end of the day, there is nothing you can do to change that simple fact: it is the end of the day. It is night, but the sun always rises in the morning.

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