Before I get to the heart of today’s entry, I’d like to shout out to the ladies who work at my school’s café. They’ve got a shit job; I’ve been there, so I understand how goddamn stressful that can be. I feel that over the last couple weeks we’ve bonded as I listen to their daily complaints. I’ve spent time working in customer service, so I know damn well how hard it is to give it with a smile. I aim to be the type of customer that I know brings a tiny bit of light to an otherwise shitty work day. This morning, as I was paying for my coffee, she judged the size of my to-go cup and said, “It’s a large, but I’ll charge you for a medium. Mondays are bad enough.”
So here’s to you, café workers everywhere. I hope your Monday goes as well as it can!
This anecdote is not completely unrelated to what I wanted to think about today. I consider myself to be quite the social butterfly, despite being somewhat awkward and nervous in certain scenarios. I make conversation with strangers, have more friends than I even have time to keep up with, and I honestly like it that way. Many of my friends say they “hate people,” and especially from a customer service standpoint, that’s not such an irrational view. There’s a lot of genuinely despicable people in the world, but even the little things seem to taint peoples views on the matter. “People” (a harsh generalization) can be rude, blunt, heartless, and cruel, simply with words or implications alone. It’s hard to argue that humans have plenty of undesirable qualities. I just don’t like to shy away from them.
I love people.
For better or for worse, there’s not a single person I hate in this world. “Hate” is a strong word lined with boundless bitterness and resentment, and whereas I have certainly felt it in the past, I’m over the unneeded negativity. I’m not saying horrible actions are excusable, or that one doesn’t need to take the blame for things they do. After all, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t still harbor negative feelings towards plenty of people who wronged me, or I may have wronged. I just think we’re all such deep, complex and fascinating beings, that even among the worst of us, what’s not to love? The most heinous of villains throughout all of history were just as human as any of us, with hearts that beat the same. Am I going to sit around and play Hitler’s advocate, acting like he was a pure and perfect person just by nature of being alive? Hell fucking no. In fact, it’s people’s flaws alongside their virtues that make me love us all so much. It’s a tricky balance, but I think I make it work.
I get along well enough with nearly anyone. Obviously, some people may not have quite as much in common with me, or may have a personality that clashes with mine. I surely have some friends and family alike that I’m closer with than others, and I have my fair share of people that I just straight up just don’t like. That doesn’t mean I hate them, and I still appreciate them for who they are. Whenever I express this opinion, I feel as though I’m acting so arrogant, although I’m not sure the source of that feeling. Perhaps it just feels like an egotistical viewpoint to have.
“Oh look at me! I love everyone, no matter what! Aren’t I so much better than you?!”
…but that’s not how I mean it to sound. It is what it is. I like people. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that, it just can be sometimes.
I’m not particularly religious, but there’s a particular quote from my favorite anime that came to me while writing this.
Everyone’s the same, no exception. All of us. Equal before god.
– Izaya Orihara
Yes, I’m somewhat of an anime fan. Deal with it. This quote is from Durarara!!, a fantastic show chronicling the abnormal lives of people living in Ikebukuro, Tokyo. If anyone’s by any mad chance familiar with the show, they’d know Izaya isn’t by any means a shining example of healthy moral standards. His main claim to fame is analyzing people and putting them through hell, just to see how they’ll react. Despite this, I feel as though I do share his fascination with humanity. Maybe not quite so morbid, but the passion is there.
Life is a vastly complicated enigma that I will never understand, nor do I truly want to. I like observing things the way they are and taking them at face value. I judge the world so scarcely that people often question my own morals, and as I grow and change as a person, I’m starting to realize I don’t care what people think of me. I believe in right and wrong. I believe that perception is relative. Above all, I believe that humans are the most fascinating creatures I have ever seen.